Marriage is not a traditional culture, it is a biblical institution. Genesis 2:24. Marriage biblically is an institution between a man and a woman and it is in the plan and agenda of God for man to be fulfilled in all ways. The two spouses should be fulfilled physically, mentally, spiritually, financially, emotionally etc. Then if God is the author of marriage, it is only God that can sustain and make it blissful to be enjoyed. So, a fulfilled marriage must have God as the foundation of their marriage.
There are some things we must do that I will call nuggets that are required from us by God for Him to do His part.
1. Pursue God’s will: Everyone has a will in marriage but that will must not contend with the will of God. So if that your will is contending with the will of God you must allow God’s will prevail. I remembered when I was working with one Telecommunication Company; I went for a promotional exam which was conducted by the company. I was so happy when I passed the exam because it was my wish that I want to rise to a position that I have been eying. I was posted out of the state I was, but God said no that I should stay put where he has asked me to remain. It was hard for me to reject the offer but I eventually did just to stay in God’s will and the rest is testimony today. Be in God’s will patterning your home, to please anyone will lead to enduring your marriage and not enjoying it. People can only guide you but seek God’s face on any issue or decision you want to make.
2. You must be available: So many times I have seen marriage become just a form of shelter for spouse just because of achievement, career etc. Husband and wife leave the home so early, come back late in the night, eat and sleep. No time to have a heart talk, laugh together, play together. There must be a room given for good communication for marital bliss. Don’t sacrifice your home on the altar of business. Carry yourself along. Eat at least one meal together as a couple, by that you can also discuss. You can take your children to your parent, family friend just to have the weekend to yourself. Go out, take a walk, don’t cook, eat out just to enjoy each other. It can help address depression when you both pour out your mind on whatever it’s disturbing you.
3. Be the best of friends: Your best friend should be your spouse. So many times I see spouse having a female or male colleague has their best friend they can confide in and leaving the spouse as hall mate. Give each other attention. Create friendly atmosphere not master servant atmosphere. Your spouse should be your counselor, confidant and your trustee. Don’t keep a friend that your partner does not know about. Your friends should also be your spouse’s friend. When you are best friend, no stranger will be able to come in between you. There is nothing my husband cannot discuss with me and me with him. We laugh over it, advise each other when the need be. You can only play with a friend and not a stranger. Give each other a hug, kiss. Tickle him or her. Carry that wife of your youth. Crack funny jokes and laugh.
4. Run the same vision: Amos 3:3. “Can two walk together except they agree”. Have the same aspirations, vision value, dreams. That does not mean u should be doing the same thing. Running the same vision means supporting each other. My husband is a teacher of the gospel and I a marriage counselor. I go with him to minister whenever am chanced and him also with me. He helps me counsel people also when the needs be. I sing and most time we sing together. We laugh over it whenever he goes off beat and he asks me, am I singing tenor, teach me how to take tenor which I do. He taught me how to be a teacher of the word. Even in business, we run it together. So many times he goes to shop for me or ahead of me and I also close the shop to attend to his business when my assistance is needed.
A 51-year-old Pastor, Rotimi Michael, has told an Oke-Ogbere Customary Court in Ibadan to dissolve his 11- year-old marriage to his wife, Dolapo, alleging that she is destroying his ministry as a cleric. Michael, resident at Olubonku-Olodo area of Ibadan told the court that his wife had made nonsense of his calling as a minister of God and might end his ministry if he did not end the marriage with her.
5. Have a forgiving Spirit: You will always hurt each other but forgive even before your spouse hurt you. Learn to make forgiving each other a conscious habit lifestyle. Matt 6:12 “And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors”. When you harbour unforgiveness, your spirit will shut down and you become unhappy. Offenses will come but no matter the level, forgive and keep the devil away from your home. Be like little children. They easily forgive, they don’t retain offenses. Let go of that grievance. No one is perfect and we are not in the same level of maturity. Tolerate your spouse as you tolerate your children.
6. Mutual love and respect for each another: Your spouse is not a slave. Help yourselves. Don’t humiliate him or her in the public. Don’t shut her down. It is important that our values must not be thrown away. Respect your husband. Men respond to people that honour them. Always praise him. Honour your wife too. I see some people honour men of God that are not even up to them in age but can’t honour their spouse. See your husband is your lord. Sarah called her husband her lord.
7. Fight the spirit of divorce: Divorce is a spirit. It is not natural. The devil is not happy that things are sweet and working well in your home. The devil only comes to steal, kill and destroy. To steal, kill and destroy your peace, joy etc… The moment you prefer somebody else above your spouse, the evil spirit is at work. Consciously kick the devil out of your marriage. Pray at all times. Don’t take your marriage for granted.
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